You'll be different at the end

My body decided to wake up at 9 a.m. today. Although far from pleasant, the morning brought with it some meaning. I hate December 26th. It is an awful day. We prepare for Christmas for over a month and then in one swift hour of the night, it is gone. I didn't want my Christmas hangover to be as it has always been so I decided to start reading Don Miller's new book, "A Million Miles In A Thousand Years"... four hours later I was still in bed, fingers tinted black from the pages of stories, and a completely different outlook on my current state of mind.

A few days ago I adventured to the land of Hocking Hills with the FIrst Baptist Youth group. I wasn't really looking forward to leaving my state of relaxation to hang out with kids a few years younger than me. The trip turned out to be an overwhelming learning experience. Until this past week I hated being in my 20s. I feared turning 20 this month because I felt like I was still 14. I felt like such a child still, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically. I realize there is nothing wrong with being youthful, but I wanted to feel older, wiser, like I had learned something in my 20 years. Instead I felt fearful of growing up because I felt like everyone around me was progressing so well.

When I was around the youth group this week I saw a window into my own life several years ago. The kids felt like their whole worlds were caving in and they were struggling with things I felt like I too had been through. But one night when we were all in a state of prayer and meditation God spoke to me, he woke me up from my childlike slumber and he said:

"Look at these 14, 15, and 16 year olds, do you truly believe I have not taught you to grow? Have I not raised you, strengthened you, and made you wiser through your experiences? Look, you can lead these because you once were one of them. Not any longer are you one of them, you are on your next phase of life and it is because of my hand that you are here. You are not the same person that you were, you are maturing in your faith and I am teaching you how to trust me. You are changing. You are growing. I have so much more planned for you, so do me a favor and stay with me. I won't let you down."

In his book, Don Miller talks about how too often we live to attain something, to plan our lives out according to these fairy-tale endings. Instead, we must live these stories in our lives freely, through the creator of the universe. We were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us.

God is indeed changing my story, and most importantly... he is changing me. (for that I am very thankful)

Heres to blogging

Hannah Towler
Indiana Wesleyan University
major: journalism.

I have been feeling like less of a journalist lately (not that I ever felt like one in the first place) and thought perhaps I would start blogging. I have always found blogging as a sort of oddity. We had Xanga in junior high where we would give friend shout-outs and far too many Dashboard Confessional lyrical posts on our walls in attempts to get some dramatic feedback. Now people blog religiously. Supposedly anyone can do it: Dish out life stories, say something profound, witty. Due to naivety and lack of wit, this blog may fail, but nevertheless I will give her a shot.